Oct 8, 2019
Have you ever taken a
personality test? I've taken 47 billion. I think it's because I've
hated my personality for so long. I'm not kidding. I thought I was
way over the top, and my laugh was obnoxious, and I was too high
maintenance. I took every personality test known to man. Honestly,
it didn't make me feel any better.
I was trying to figure myself
out, because I disliked myself. I thought the answers in the test
would tell me how to fix myself. But that's not me anymore. I don't
want to change myself. I don't want to waste another second not
being me. I still want to grow, mature, and refine myself, but I
wanted to do it being me. Now, if I do a personality test, it's
because I want to know what makes me tick. This is where the
Enneagram comes in.
Beth and Jeff McCord are here,
and they are the founders of Your Enneagram Coach a website that
not only helps people find out what their type is, but helps
couples find out how to interact with each other no matter what
type they are. They have even written a book to help Christian
couples live their best lives using the Enneagram. Their book is
Becoming Us. We kick this show off with a kind of
Enneagram crash course, and then break down how this information
can be useful for individuals, couples and eventually even
- [05:50] The Enneagram is a
typology system and way of knowing yourself. It's like your
internal GPS. It will tell you your main type and your main
- [06:48] The Enneagram will tell
you why you veered off course and alert you before you get off
course again. It can help you create a different
- [07:25] The Enneagram shows you
why you think, feel, and behave in certain ways. It gets to the
- [07:59] It gives you hope that
there is transformation ahead and a healthier path.
- [08:57] Beth and Jeff had
trouble understanding each other about five years into their
marriage. Some friends introduced them to The Enneagram: A
Christian Perspective by Richard Rohr.
- [09:30] Finally Beth and Jeff
had clarity on why they were doing what they were
- [09:42] They've been doing this
for over 20 years and are still learning and
- [10:40] Beth was Michael
Hyatt's personal assistant, so she saw first hand how an amazing
team works behind the scenes and develops online
- [10:48] Beth and Jeff started
creating Enneagram courses and coaching people. It was amazing to
watch people transform right before their eyes.
- [11:05] They then developed the
Become an Enneagram Coach course. They now have over 400 coaches in
18 countries who are transforming other people's
- [12:16] Because Enneagram is
about why you do the things you do, you want to look at the core
motivation of the nine types.
- [12:26] There are four core
motivations. There's the core fear. There's the desire. There's the
weakness. There's the core longing.
- [12:56] Type one is the moral
perfectionist. Type two is a supportive adviser.
- [14:16] Type three is the
successful achiever. They fear being exposed or
- [15:22] Type four is the
romantic individualist. They fear being cut off. They desire to be
special. Their core weakness is envy.
- [15:55] Type five is the
investigative thinkers. They fear being annihilated. They desire to
be capable and competent. Their weakness is that they feel they
lack too many inner resources.
- [16:36] Type six is the loyal
guardian. They fear fear itself. They desire security. Their core
weakness is anxiety.
- [17:20] Type seven is the
entertaining optimist. They fear being deprived. They desire to be
happy and content. The weakness is gluttony.
- [18:52] Type eight is the
protective challenger. They fear being weak. They desire to protect
themselves. Their weaknesses are lust or excess.
- [19:57] Type nine is the
peaceful mediator. They fear being in conflict. They desire inner
stability and peace of mind. Their weakness is sloth.
- [23:55] No matter what our type
is we can get healthy.
- [24:26] Beth takes people
through a process called exploring you where they work through five
- [25:37] We are all diverse.
When we are at our healthiest, we bless everyone including
- [28:41] The Enneagram is super
useful for helping couples or people work together
- [29:12] We often assume people
see the world the way that we do, but they don't.
- [29:49] What Jeff and Beth are
doing is the overflow of what has been going on in their marriage
since the early 2000s. They've been able to transcend patterns of
conflict and have language to describe what is happening inside of
- [33:31] Instead of fighting,
try looking at things through the other person's
- [36:51] People parent according
to their type.
- [37:55] As kids get older, you
start to notice patterns. There are unique ways to relate to
- [45:39] Jeff and Beth have
created a marriage assessment and a book that will help couples
understand themselves and each other.
- [48:13] It takes couple six
years before they actually ask for help. You can find courses that
will help you in your marriage on the Your Enneagram Coach
- [53:01] Melissa has fun asking
Beth and Jeff three wrap up questions.
Thanks for joining us on
Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to
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