Nov 5, 2019
I'm from deep East Texas, and we
handle things differently than they do in New Jersey. We also wear
pearls and clutch them when someone says something. We don't air
our dirty laundry to the world. If you've been watching me and
David's Instagram Lives, you will see us sign off with bye and love
you. Then the minute we get off the video, I look at him and say,
"I'm going to murder you." We don't put this out for the world to
see, but today's guest does.
Danielle Silverstein was a stay
at home mom for 13 years until she started the Marriage &
Martinis podcast and community with her husband Adam. They decided
to start it after dealing with Adam’s alcoholism, gambling
addiction, and other acts of betrayal, so that others who might be
going through the same thing won't feel so alone. In practically no
time, they found themselves with a huge following.
Danielle and I have never met
before this podcast. When I told my friends I was interviewing her
it was met with gasps and pearl clutching. Danielle and Adam are
very open on their podcast about their sex life, and she is a
self-proclaimed f-bomb dropper. Don't worry, there's none of that
today. I really liked her. I wish I would have made this podcast
two parts, because we could talk for a long time.
Danille is also brutally honest.
Alcoholism is a problem. Gambling addiction is a problem. Sometimes
she knows what to do about it, and sometimes she doesn't. Marriage
& Martinis is an attempt to present a real authentic marriage
at its core. It's hard to make an open and vulnerable podcast about
your marriage and make it work, but Danielle and Adam have done
just that. They decided to take a big risk, and now their podcasts
helps them while they also help other people.
- [04:39] Danielle is rocking
- [06:59] Danielle and Adam were
both 25 when they got married. Danielle's mom stayed home, and
Danielle liked that and wanted to do it for her kids and
- [07:39] She had a very
traditional viewpoint even though she went to NYU.
- [08:07] She discovered that she
was a really good mom, but not that great of a
- [09:02] When Adam's dad passed
away, Adam became not present mentally and
- [09:24] This was in 2015, and
they had three kids.
- [10:42] It was almost like
having a fourth child that was putting himself and others in
- [12:13] Adam is known as party
Adam. Everyone loves it, except for sometimes Danielle. They both
suffer from anxiety and OCD and know that certain things are
- [13:16] When Adam should have
been in therapy, he turned to alcohol and gambling, and it became
- [15:21] Alcohol was just one of
the side effects of not wanting to deal with things and feel
- [16:06] Adam would also take
off to Atlantic City.
- [17:34] Danielle finally said,
it was time to fix things or she was done.
- [18:18] They used to sit and
have a cocktail and talk all night long. Danielle realized that
they should record their conversations, and their podcast
- [19:13] They are still actively
recovering, but they are both immersed in the process of
- [20:36] Adam is a tech guy, and
he has always loved podcasts. She also knew that Adam needed a
purpose to feel like he was contributing.
- [22:23] Having a podcast to
share all of their issues seemed crazy, but also a good idea. They
had nothing to lose.
- [23:50] Danielle has OCD that's
not founded in reality.
- [26:10] Adam also went to
therapy. The drinking was a symptom of a core issue. He can still
have a drink.
- [28:56] Danielle thought Adam
needed a way to get out of his head and start thinking about
- [30:17] Every situation is
different. Alcohol wasn't Adam's biggest problem.
- [34:36] Danielle and Adam put
everything out there in their podcast.
- [35:44] They are in the arena
for their marriage. It's about more support and less
- [37:00] Vulnerability is a
- [38:38] Rapid fire questions.
Danielle loves sushi.
- [40:15] Friendship is
vulnerability and acceptance.
- [40:51] If there was a movie
about Danielle and Adam, it might star Anthony Bourdain and Reese
Thanks for joining us on
Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to
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