Jul 10, 2018
There is a chapter in my book called Chicken Fried Women. This
chapter is about the women in my family who I am very close to. I
call us chicken fried, because we may be battered on the outside
with our scars and our stories, but we are soft and tender on the
inside. With, of course, a little spice thrown in. I have four
incredible guests today. My Mother Anet, My Grandmother Mary, My
Aunt Melba, and my cousin and Melba’s daughter Meridith Baxter who
was also my guest on episode episode 5 Over My Bread
We talk about how close our family is and the unique
relationship we have. We are loud and outspoken. We tease and give
each other a hard time. We fight and forgive, and we love each
other fiercely. We talk about what it means to be brave, family
traditions, and our relationship with god. We share family stories
and discuss challenges of forgiveness and reconciliation. I hope
you enjoy this glimpse into our lives and the women who have helped
make me who I am.
You can find Melissa here:
- [02:03] Anet Lee is Melissa's mother, and she likes it when
Melissa calls her Big Mom.
- [02:20] Mary is Melissa's grandmother or the matriarch of the
- [02:34] Melba White is Melissa's aunt and Anet’s sister.
- [02:44] Meridith is Melissa's cousin and Melba's daughter.
- [03:08] Melissa introduced Aunt Melba to podcasts, and she'll
never be the same. She loves listening to true crime podcasts.
- [03:33] I call us chicken fried women. We may be battered on
the outside, but we’re tender on the inside. We also have a little
spice to us.
- [03:56] There are a lot of strong women in our family who all
have their own set of stories.
- [04:13] It's unanimous. Melissa is the loudest of the
- [04:20] Granny is the quietest, although she has moments of
- [04:50] Long-standing family traditions. Everything in our
family is centered around God. That is a tradition that not a lot
of families can say.
- [05:31] Everybody gets together at Christmas, but if it
falls on a Sunday plan on going to church.
- [05:50] One family tradition that we used to have was on
Christmas Eve, we would go and bless other families by Christmas
- [06:27] We are an extremely musical family. We chose families
in need when we went caroling. We miss this tradition and would
like for our kids to have the same tradition.
- [06:56] We would also go sing at the nursing home.
- [07:40] We see each other so often we make each other sick. We
get together on every holiday, and see each other a couple of times
a week for extended visits.
- [08:13] Melissa's kids love going to Granny's house on Sunday
- [09:19] The story of the Chapstick and why it's a good idea not
to use other's people's Chapstick. Especially, Granny's.
- [11:22] The panel at the Social Event based on this chapter in
the book. Several audience members were crying when they heard this
- [12:12] How it's unusual for people to see families like ours.
As women age, they lose their mothers. A lot of people look at our
family, and it makes them feel like something is missing.
- [12:39] Our family has learned to support each other and not
look for support in other areas.
- [13:29] As a family, we have learned to work through our issues
- [15:25] One reason our family may have stayed so close is our
relationship with God and our solid marriages.
- [16:23] Reconciliation and forgiveness. Melba has struggled
with holding grudges. Her husband taught her how to forgive and
gave some great examples of forgiveness.
- [17:37] Forgiving and forgetting is hard for Anet too.
- [18:08] Granny's husband was very good at making things right.
When it comes to forgiving, the Lord would help Granny forget about
the hurting part.
- [18:31] Why is it so important for our family to be close?
- [19:05] Our family loves each other and wants the
- [19:33] We are an accountability system for each other whether
we want to or not.
- [21:07] A story about someone riding their horse in Melba's
Dad's yard. He had to pray and let it go in order to live by the
- [22:35] We either live it or we don't.
- [23:00] Forgiveness may not mean reconciliation if the other
party doesn't let it go.
- [25:21] Reading the book
Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and
Difficult People. Going into a relationship with an agenda is
- [26:39] How the word of God is about love.
- [28:43] Melba believes that everything should line up by the
word of God, and children should be raised by the word of God.
- [29:45] The most unique thing about this family is our sense of
humor. We also do a lot together.
- [32:11] When we all get together, there's about 27 of us in the
room. We are loud, and there are a lot of kids. There is also a lot
of food that is mostly fried and desserts.
- [33:13] Most of us live on the same street, and we all go to
the same church.
- [35:07] The oddest person in the family…
- [36:08] The best cook in the family…
- [39:12] The family member that is never on time…
- [40:19] Who's the best driver in the family…
- [41:18] Melba stays brave by not shirking her
- [41:51] Meredith stays brave because she knows her children are
- [42:33] Anet stays brave by resilience and facing challenges
over and over.
- [42:54] Granny stays brave by praying every day.
- [43:40] How we are a brave group of women who all love each
- [44:59] Silent Night - Christmas in July
Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be
subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review.
Just like your mother taught you.
Links and Resources: