May 21, 2019
Every scar you have tells a
story. Sometimes being vulnerable and telling your story is what
you and those around you need. When people are vulnerable with us,
we are reminded that we are not alone. The reason I'm talking about
this is because my friend Kayla Stoecklein is here to share a story
that isn't easy to share. She shares her story in an effort to help
others who may be going through painful situations. She is the
perfect example of first the pain, then the rising.
Kayla is a recently widowed mom
of three busy boys (ages 2, 4, and 6). Prior to the loss of her
husband, she was a pastor's wife and stay at home mom. She is now
in the process of reinventing her life, figuring out who she is,
and what she is passionate about, and what she is gifted at. She is
passionate about people, addicted to life change, and defiantly
choosing joy everyday as she chases after what she calls "a happy
beautiful life" after loss. Her life mantra is "God's Got
- [03:33] Melissa met Kayla at
the Dream Big Intensive. The property was beautiful.
- [06:35] A year-and-a-half ago
Kayla's husband began having panic attacks. He was the lead pastor
of a large church, and he was under a lot of pressure.
- [07:20] They were visiting
doctors trying to find out what was happening with him.
- [08:00] His panic attacks
became more severe, and he ended up in the hospital, and they still
couldn't figure out the root of his mystery illness.
- [08:18] A psychiatrist
diagnosed him with depression.
- [09:42] He took a sabbatical
and was feeling a little bit better. Then he went back to
- [10:03] He was preparing to
talk about mental illness. A lot of people were struggling with
this, and they were grateful that he was talking about something
that they could relate to.
- [11:17] His mental illness took
a turn for the worst and he attempted suicide. He ended up in the
hospital, but passed away shortly after that.
- [11:47] It was shocking for
everyone to see a young healthy guy with a young family, who is
talking about mental illness, commit suicide.
- [12:27] Kayla was a
stay-at-home mom, and her whole life revolved around her husband
and the church.
- [13:07] Kayla was only 29 and
was wondering what she was going to do with the rest of her life.
She was also very sad, because her and her husband had an
- [14:36] Kayla isn't mad at
Andrew, but she is so angry about what happened.
- [18:05] It's very difficult
walking alongside someone with mental illness, because it's almost
like they are two different people.
- [18:44] Being able to know and
identify triggers is so helpful.
- [22:48] Kayla takes things a
day at a time. She doesn't have a plan, she just sits with her
grief and lets herself feel it.
- [25:07] Kayla has been taking
time for self-care and doing what she needs to do to enable herself
to grieve and get through this season.
- [25:55] She is so grateful that
she has the luxury of time to grieve in a way that fits
- [28:40] Kayla has a blog called
God's Got This.
- [29:42] Her social media blew
up and people message her constantly. A majority of the people are
walking beside someone with mental illness, and they are just very
grateful that someone is talking about it.
- [30:40] Walking alongside
someone with depression gives you a little taste of
- [31:32] If someone mentions
suicide, take it seriously.
- [32:18] Kayla has also received
messages from people who were considering suicide and changed their
- [32:40] The stories don't take
away Kayla's pain, but they give her purpose with it. God uses us
for good. Lives have been saved through the sharing of this
- [34:19] One of the best things
that Kayla's friends have done is send her late night texts just to
check on her and just listening to her.
- [35:26] The worst thing someone
can do for someone who is grieving is to tell them that
they know exactly how they
- [38:23] God sends us people to
light our way to places that are foreign to us. Kayla is the one
holding the lantern.
- [40:28] Kayla answers the three
- [45:09] To love is to be
vulnerable. This perfectly describes today's podcast.
Thanks for joining us on
Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to
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