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Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

May 21, 2019

Every scar you have tells a story. Sometimes being vulnerable and telling your story is what you and those around you need. When people are vulnerable with us, we are reminded that we are not alone. The reason I'm talking about this is because my friend Kayla Stoecklein is here to share a story that isn't easy to share. She shares her story in an effort to help others who may be going through painful situations. She is the perfect example of first the pain, then the rising.

Kayla is a recently widowed mom of three busy boys (ages 2, 4, and 6). Prior to the loss of her husband, she was a pastor's wife and stay at home mom. She is now in the process of reinventing her life, figuring out who she is, and what she is passionate about, and what she is gifted at. She is passionate about people, addicted to life change, and defiantly choosing joy everyday as she chases after what she calls "a happy beautiful life" after loss. Her life mantra is "God's Got This."

Show Notes

  • [03:33] Melissa met Kayla at the Dream Big Intensive. The property was beautiful.
  • [06:35] A year-and-a-half ago Kayla's husband began having panic attacks. He was the lead pastor of a large church, and he was under a lot of pressure.
  • [07:20] They were visiting doctors trying to find out what was happening with him.
  • [08:00] His panic attacks became more severe, and he ended up in the hospital, and they still couldn't figure out the root of his mystery illness.
  • [08:18] A psychiatrist diagnosed him with depression.
  • [09:42] He took a sabbatical and was feeling a little bit better. Then he went back to work.
  • [10:03] He was preparing to talk about mental illness. A lot of people were struggling with this, and they were grateful that he was talking about something that they could relate to.
  • [11:17] His mental illness took a turn for the worst and he attempted suicide. He ended up in the hospital, but passed away shortly after that.
  • [11:47] It was shocking for everyone to see a young healthy guy with a young family, who is talking about mental illness, commit suicide.
  • [12:27] Kayla was a stay-at-home mom, and her whole life revolved around her husband and the church.
  • [13:07] Kayla was only 29 and was wondering what she was going to do with the rest of her life. She was also very sad, because her and her husband had an incredible relationship.
  • [14:36] Kayla isn't mad at Andrew, but she is so angry about what happened.
  • [18:05] It's very difficult walking alongside someone with mental illness, because it's almost like they are two different people.
  • [18:44] Being able to know and identify triggers is so helpful.
  • [22:48] Kayla takes things a day at a time. She doesn't have a plan, she just sits with her grief and lets herself feel it.
  • [25:07] Kayla has been taking time for self-care and doing what she needs to do to enable herself to grieve and get through this season.
  • [25:55] She is so grateful that she has the luxury of time to grieve in a way that fits her.
  • [28:40] Kayla has a blog called God's Got This.
  • [29:42] Her social media blew up and people message her constantly. A majority of the people are walking beside someone with mental illness, and they are just very grateful that someone is talking about it.
  • [30:40] Walking alongside someone with depression gives you a little taste of depression.\
  • [31:32] If someone mentions suicide, take it seriously.
  • [32:18] Kayla has also received messages from people who were considering suicide and changed their mind.
  • [32:40] The stories don't take away Kayla's pain, but they give her purpose with it. God uses us for good. Lives have been saved through the sharing of this story.
  • [34:19] One of the best things that Kayla's friends have done is send her late night texts just to check on her and just listening to her.
  • [35:26] The worst thing someone can do for someone who is grieving is to tell them that they know exactly how they feel.
  • [38:23] God sends us people to light our way to places that are foreign to us. Kayla is the one holding the lantern.
  • [40:28] Kayla answers the three questions…
  • [45:09] To love is to be vulnerable. This perfectly describes today's podcast.

Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.

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