Mar 3, 2020
Dr. Justin Coulson is an
honorary fellow at the Center for Positive Psychology at the
University of Melbourne. He has three best-selling books about
family life and parenting. He writes, consults, and teaches about
the intersection of psychology, family, and well-being. He's a TEDx
speaker and a regular TV expert guest. He's a contributor to major
Australian media outlets. He's also contributed to the New York
He had a successful radio career
and then returned to school in his late 20's where he earned his
psychology degree and his PhD in psychology. Since then he has
written multiple peer-reviewed journal articles and scholarly book
chapters. He is also a highly sought-after international speaker
delivering keynote speeches and workshops to boost well-being and
improve relationships for parents, teachers, students and employees
I discovered Dr. Coulson through
a friend's social media. When I saw his post, I just thought that
he was doing good. He's not yelling fire in a crowded theater, he's
getting to the heart of our teens. He's specifically getting to the
heart of our daughters, because he's the father of six daughters.
Dr. Coulson has written a book called
Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage
Daughter 'Hates' You, Expects the World and Needs to
Talk. You are going to
love this interview and how he gets emotional talking about our
- [07:55] During conferences Dr. Coulson is
consistently getting messages about how the world is destroying our
teenagers. His experience is that they aren't dealing with these
- [09:14] The problems facing our teens are
actually more mundane problems.
- [09:50] Parents and teens are just wanting to
connect and get along.
- [10:29] Miss-Connection is ultimately about the
deep desire our children have to be close to us and we have to be
close to them.
- [11:59] Dr. Coulson interviewed and surveyed
around 400 teenage girls. Their voices are front and center in the
- [13:17] Why we parent matters more than how we
- [15:29] If my why is around developing this
child into the best human that they can be that means that when
they're being challenging I'm going to be more
- [18:36] We need to see our children's behavior
as opportunities to connect. When a child is being challenged, they
are going to be challenging. We need to find the best in
- [20:44] You can show your child that if you can
name it, you can tame it.
- [21:41] Keep giving our children these moments
because they do want the connection. Give them some time and space
and keep trying.
- [22:52] We need to be our kids' ally and have
stretched out arms and compassion.
- [27:08] Friendship challenges are difficult for
our daughters. There is a constant realignment for girls in their
- [28:32] Girls are much more likely to ruminate
- [29:52] Research tells us that our daughters
need to go through an identity finding process during adolescence.
Kids need an opportunity to do the deep inner work that comes from
quiet contemplation. There are too many distractions.
- [31:46] The whole family should come together
and talk about values.
- [36:02] When we invest the time, kids feel the
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