Mar 26, 2019
Diane Gottsman is a national
etiquette expert. She is the owner of a company that specializes in
corporate etiquette training. She is the author of
Modern Etiquette for a Better
Life. She has appeared
on The Today Show, Headline News, CBS Sunday Morning, and in the
New York Times. She is also poised, beautiful, smart, and so
I was nervous about having an
etiquette expert like Diane on the show today, but she put me at
ease. Diane teaches that etiquette is about mind and soul, and that
they are connected. She believes that etiquette is about putting
other people at ease, and that's what she did with me. She also
answered my questions with such grace and wisdom that I loved this
episode. Diane shares insights about life we all need to keep in
mind. This interview wasn’t what I had expected, but it is filled
with actionable knowledge we can all use.
You can find Diane here:
Diane Gottsman Website
Diane Gottsman on Instagram
Diane Gottsman on Facebook
- [02:45] Diane is in San Antonio
- [05:25] To Diane etiquette
isn't stuffy, it's about life skills and making other people feel
comfortable. Every person at every age can fine-tune their life
- [05:59] When Diane was growing
up she didn't know what she wanted to do, but she did know she
wanted to work with people.
- [06:25] Diane has a master's
degree in human behavior. She started fundraising for
meals-on-wheels. She also worked with a children's charity and one
of the children said when she grew up she wanted to be just like
- [07:33] She had an aha moment
and realized that knowledge and training was all that was holding
this little girl back. This inspired Diane to work and train people
in all walks of life.
- [08:33] She merged her teaching
and training into one. By nature Diane is an introvert. She is
still shy, but she's a socialized introvert.
- [09:48] It's up to us to be
relationship builders. Etiquette is just about being authentic and
genuine. That is what Diane teaches.
- [10:37] We get to choose how we
behave and how others treat us. We train people how to treat us. If
someone is talking down to you, you don't have to waste a lot of
time with them.
- [11:07] It's about feeling good
about yourself and knowing that you are not competing with anyone
- [11:16] Money doesn't buy class
it buys a great pair of shoes. It's about self confidence and
making others around you feel comfortable.
- [11:36] If everyone likes you,
there's something wrong with you. It means you're not speaking your
- [11:45] Diane teaches etiquette
which is about mind and soul, and they are connected.
- [13:02] There's a difference
between assertive and aggressive. You lose your power when you
scream or shout.
- [13:48] As we grow, we weed our
- [14:40] A graceful exit isn't a
shouting match. It's better to talk about something positive rather
than negative. You can gracefully exit. You don't need to give
excuses. There is power in truth, but use good
- [16:54] Diane owns the Protocol
School of Texas which is a company that specializes in corporate
- [17:35] You are your brand.
Always work on your brand.
- [19:44] It's up to us as
parents to do the best that we can. Give your kids structure and
- [20:54] Diane instilled values
in her kids. The need to be respectful, make eye contact, exchange
a handshake when appropriate, and be open and have grace. Give
everyone the benefit of the doubt.
- [22:13] When eating at
restaurants, at the end of the meal, Melissa asks her kids what
were the color of the eyes of their waiter or waitress.
- [22:48] When you are introduced
to someone stand up.
- [25:25] Balance is the key with
social media. You can tell a great deal about a person from their
posts. Social media can help you, but we all need face-to-face
- [27:20] Texting isn't a bad
thing, but it may not be the best thing in some situations. Know
the language of the person that you are relating to.
- [28:29] Everyone should have
people around them who lift them up.
- [31:44] Cell phone etiquette?
Put your phone away at a party or event. You can use your phone
when getting a pedicure. Use your best judgement. The most
important person is sitting across from you.
- [34:28] Thank you notes? They
aren't outdated. Send the note.
- [36:29] Hold a red wine glass
from the bowl and a white wine glass from the stem. A champagne
flute is held from the stem.
- [36:56] Hostess gifts are still
a thing. Take one when you are invited to a party or to stay at
someone’s home. Send flowers in advance. Don't make the host or
hostess stop and find a vase. Bring wine, tea towels, or olive
- [38:21] You shouldn't be
thinking about the exit at the entrance of a party. It's your job
to be pleasant and interesting. At a wedding reception, wait until
the cake is cut. At a dinner, you have to wait for
- [40:57] Tipping for a
housekeeper during holidays is fine.
- [42:16] How to deal with
personal questions. These questions are invasive and off limits.
Keep your questions to yourself. Set boundaries with
- [45:41] Listen to your gut, it
will guide you. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a
- [46:49] We should all strive to
surround ourselves with people who lift us up.
- [48:12] Diane answers the three
rapid fire questions.
- [52:41] Etiquette is about
class and grace. It's about raising our children to make others
feel like the most important people in the room. It's about looking
people in the eye when we speak to them. It's about listening
instead of speaking. It's about putting down our phones. It's about
extending a hand rather than a text.
Thanks for joining us on
Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to
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review. Just like your mother taught you.
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