Mar 18, 2020
I'm excited about today, because
my guest is ordinary. She is ordinary, the topic is ordinary, and
you all know how I feel about ordinary. We talk about a mundane
event that lots of people go through, but she is handling it in
extraordinary ways. I haven't done a podcast on this subject, yet
it's so prevalent. I'm talking about divorce.
Last fall, I met Kelly Mathews,
and I thought she was so kind and so beautiful, but her story was
painful. It was the story of a loss of a relationship and the loss
of a marriage. When I met her, I was wondering how she was still
standing and still smiling. I was thinking, this is what grace
looks like. Kelly embodies grace and teaches us how to do
She describes herself as a
single white female (without being scary), CPA (but better dressed
than you are probably imagining!), who started a boutique
accounting firm in the second bedroom of her house 16 years
She is a proud mother of a
thoughtful teenage daughter (although it sounds like an oxymoron -
thoughtful teenager - she’s blessed to actually have one). Her
superpower is that strangers are very comfortable talking to her,
and they typically tell her whatever is on their mind...even if
it’s a secret.
- [04:33] Kelly's people are her family and
friends. She has a fabulous relationship with her daughter. Kelly
is also super close to her parents who live 30 minutes away from
her. She plays Bunco with her friends.
- [06:13] Kelly has been blessed to have groups
of people who have supported her throughout her life.
- [07:39] Kelly and her husband dropped their
daughter off at camp and then went on a date to a movie. When they
got home her husband of 18 years asked for a separation. The next
evening he asked for a divorce and moved out two days
- [09:26] Kelly picked her daughter up from camp
on her own. That was three years ago.
- [14:04] The first thing Kelly did to survive
was get up everyday and face the day. You create the new normal
based on what you know. She also knew she needed a support team for
her and her daughter.
- [18:14] It's important to tell your support
group what your needs are.
- [19:02] The divorce almost broke her. She
wanted to dull what she was feeling. She decided to live through
the experience and deal with her hurt. It's hard to choose the most
- [22:18] She had to work through her anger and
work through that stage of recovery.
- [26:07] A powerful statement is, "you were
wronged." You feel what you feel and that's what you feel. Kelly
realized her emotions were so out of character. She has swinging
emotions. Feeling her feelings was so freeing.
- [28:37] A Bunco friend told her that she had
turned a corner. Her anger had ebbed. Her friend recognized it
- [31:41] Things not to say include, "you will be
so lonely" and "are you dating."
- [38:03] Kelly is happy with where her life is
and the choices that she has made after the divorce. She is healthy
and rested now. She was running on life's treadmill. She had time
to think about things and decided to use that time for
- [41:16] She's being true to who she is and who
she wants to be.
- [44:23] She also created a decision tree about
how she was going to deal with questions from her
- [48:44] Be interesting because of who you are.
Kelly writes down new things that she wants to try. She has done
extensive heart work.
- [51:16] Kelly shares her favorite hometown
restaurant, friendship, and maybe some Julia
Thanks for joining us on
Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to
subscribe to our podcast on
iTunes and leave a nice
review. Just like your mother taught you.
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