Nov 5, 2019
I'm from deep East Texas, and we
handle things differently than they do in New Jersey. We also wear
pearls and clutch them when someone says something. We don't air
our dirty laundry to the world. If you've been watching me and
David's Instagram Lives, you will see us sign off with bye and love
you. Then the minute we get off the video, I look at him and say,
"I'm going to murder you." We don't put this out for the world to
see, but today's guest does.
Danielle Silverstein was a stay
at home mom for 13 years until she started the Marriage & Martinis
podcast and community with her husband Adam. They decided to start
it after dealing with Adam’s alcoholism, gambling addiction, and
other acts of betrayal, so that others who might be going through
the same thing won't feel so alone. In practically no time, they
found themselves with a huge following.
Danielle and I have never met
before this podcast. When I told my friends I was interviewing her
it was met with gasps and pearl clutching. Danielle and Adam are
very open on their podcast about their sex life, and she is a
self-proclaimed f-bomb dropper. Don't worry, there's none of that
today. I really liked her. I wish I would have made this podcast
two parts, because we could talk for a long time.
Danille is also brutally honest.
Alcoholism is a problem. Gambling addiction is a problem. Sometimes
she knows what to do about it, and sometimes she doesn't. Marriage
& Martinis is an attempt to present a real authentic marriage at
its core. It's hard to make an open and vulnerable podcast about
your marriage and make it work, but Danielle and Adam have done
just that. They decided to take a big risk, and now their podcasts
helps them while they also help other people.
Show Notes:
- [04:39] Danielle is rocking
average.
- [06:59] Danielle and Adam were
both 25 when they got married. Danielle's mom stayed home, and
Danielle liked that and wanted to do it for her kids and
husband.
- [07:39] She had a very
traditional viewpoint even though she went to NYU.
- [08:07] She discovered that she
was a really good mom, but not that great of a
housewife.
- [09:02] When Adam's dad passed
away, Adam became not present mentally and
physically.
- [09:24] This was in 2015, and
they had three kids.
- [10:42] It was almost like
having a fourth child that was putting himself and others in
danger.
- [12:13] Adam is known as party
Adam. Everyone loves it, except for sometimes Danielle. They both
suffer from anxiety and OCD and know that certain things are
triggers.
- [13:16] When Adam should have
been in therapy, he turned to alcohol and gambling, and it became
problematic.
- [15:21] Alcohol was just one of
the side effects of not wanting to deal with things and feel
things.
- [16:06] Adam would also take
off to Atlantic City.
- [17:34] Danielle finally said,
it was time to fix things or she was done.
- [18:18] They used to sit and
have a cocktail and talk all night long. Danielle realized that
they should record their conversations, and their podcast
began.
- [19:13] They are still actively
recovering, but they are both immersed in the process of
healing.
- [20:36] Adam is a tech guy, and
he has always loved podcasts. She also knew that Adam needed a
purpose to feel like he was contributing.
- [22:23] Having a podcast to
share all of their issues seemed crazy, but also a good idea. They
had nothing to lose.
- [23:50] Danielle has OCD that's
not founded in reality.
- [26:10] Adam also went to
therapy. The drinking was a symptom of a core issue. He can still
have a drink.
- [28:56] Danielle thought Adam
needed a way to get out of his head and start thinking about
others.
- [30:17] Every situation is
different. Alcohol wasn't Adam's biggest problem.
- [34:36] Danielle and Adam put
everything out there in their podcast.
- [35:44] They are in the arena
for their marriage. It's about more support and less
judgement.
- [37:00] Vulnerability is a
super power.
- [38:38] Rapid fire questions.
Danielle loves sushi.
- [40:15] Friendship is
vulnerability and acceptance.
- [40:51] If there was a movie
about Danielle and Adam, it might star Anthony Bourdain and Reese
Witherspoon.
Thanks for joining us on
Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to
subscribe to our podcast on
iTunes and leave a nice
review. Just like your mother taught you.
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