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Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Without Crying

Jun 5, 2018

Today’s episode isn’t child friendly. Listen to it when the kids aren’t around or when you have your headphones on. I kick off this show with a story about how I tried to have a talk about sex with my daughter Remi. I thought it was going well except for the part where she was curled up on the floorboard of the car and the confusion about whether the people were naked or not. This is why I brought in my friend and nurse practitioner Katherine Diggs to talk about this important topic.

You can find Katherine here:

Katherine Diggs on Facebook

Show Notes

  • [00:56] The night I talked to Remi Hope about sex. All of the women in the family were decorating for a wedding reception, and I thought I would take Remi out to a nice dinner afterwards.
  • [01:22] Remi wanted to go through the Burger King drive-thru. I began to tell Remi what a condom was and she physically curled up in the floorboard of the car.
  • [01:33] She ordered her meal from the floorboard of the car with a colorless look of shock and fear on her face.
  • [01:46] As we drove home, I became more bold in my approach and decided to tell her everything.
  • [02:20] After all of this we get home and I ask her if she has any questions. Her question was does it hurt for the man. Once the confusion about about people being naked was cleared up, it was time to really talk.
  • [03:09] Katherine Diggs is one of my best friends. She is a nurse practitioner for all things female and sexual. This is what she does for a living, and I’m super excited to have her on the show.
  • [03:55] Katherine was a labor & delivery nurse for years. Then she went back to school and became a nurse practitioner for women's health. She screens for breast and cervical cancer. Along with STD screening.
  • [04:40] She works at a community health clinic and takes care of high-risk ladies.
  • [04:54] She has had a lot of opportunities to educate kids.
  • [05:09] She talks to everyone across the board about sex, their bodies, when to be screened, and related sexual health topics.
  • [05:26] Public health is everybody. I take care of women who don't have access to health insurance or whose circumstances have changed. I want to give these ladies good care and want them to know that they are welcome.
  • [06:42] Katherine believes that women deserve the right to the best healthcare and the best options available to them.
  • [07:09] Katherine was nervous to talk to the boys, but they ended up being more vulnerable than the girls were.
  • [08:26] Katherine has a beautiful 13-year-old daughter and two 8-year-old twin girls who couldn't be more different from each other. The twins are in the same class as my son Rocco.
  • [10:33] As moms, I'm not sure we can adequately talk to her children about this type of stuff.
  • [11:40] The culture we live in now, cell phones, and how people have access to anything in a matter of seconds.
  • [12:02] Kids are even becoming addicted to pornography.
  • [12:13] How erectile dysfunction is common with men at certain ages. Now men in their twenties are having issues with erections because of the exposure to pornography.
  • [13:23] How normal women and everyday life may not seem as sexy compared to the unrealistic images.
  • [14:22] The importance of praying for the significant other of your babies.
  • [14:52] Katherine works two days a week and sees about 200 people a month. About 50% of these people have something. HIV is very real. She sees a lot of syphilis.
  • [15:52] The average age of an adolescent having sex is 17 years old.
  • [17:38] Sex is contact with genitals, mouths, or bottoms. Kids don't think oral sex is  a big deal.
  • [19:17] Kids can live without sex. They can wait. They can save themselves for later.
  • [21:06] Many teenagers are becoming more experimental and adventurous.
  • [21:24] The concept of what sex is designed to be has changed.
  • [23:14] Sex is such a delicate topic. Parents need to be comfortable to be vulnerable and talk with their kids.
  • [24:49] The importance of holding your kids accountable.
  • [25:38] If you talk to your kids before they are 13 years old, you can be their biggest influence.
  • [27:31] How Katherine received a lot of backlash talking to a group of women about HPV.
  • [29:26] Parents need education and need to talk to their kids about sex. Knowledge is power. Give them the whys and the why nots.
  • [31:59] Some people don't even know how to put a condom. HPV can lead to cancer and be caused by skin to skin contact.
  • [32:43] The HPV shot is controversial, but HPV is an epidemic. The vaccine is good for 10 years. Eleven or twelve years old is the recommended age.
  • [35:57] HPV is a skin to skin virus. It's almost an epidemic. The vaccine is expensive, but there is funding for it.
  • [37:30] Be bold, be vulnerable,And being human. Let your kids know that sex is great when it is done as God intended. Teenagers aren't emotionally ready to have sex.
  • [39:05] Let's raise brave strong girls and righteous men of character.
  • [39:36] One of the best places to talk to your kids is in the car. Always keep it age-appropriate.
  • [42:12] The lightning round.
  • [45:01] Melissa's goal is to be open with her children.

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